tiny little turn ons:
- people leaning against walls with one shoulder while they talk
- catching somebody turning away smiling at a joke you made
- people who linger on a hug for just a second after you let go
- somebody glancing at your lips while you’re talking
Jesus is not a turn-on he is the way the truth and the light go 2 church and reflect on your nasty ass sins
Straight couples are fucking weird.
when you’ve been with the same guy for 4 years
(Source: partynoxious, via khylieesi)
intercourse more like yes of course
one time we got a new kid in fifth grade and he walks right in and sticks his hand under the stapler and staples his hand and just looks at the teacher and goes “I’m going to the nurse” and leaves
my mom told me to put the dog to bed but didn’t specify which bed
So I accidentally said, “my crotch has a hole in it.” Instead of “my pants have a hole in them.” And this guy looked me dead in the eyes and whispered
"It’s called a vagina."
(Source: racingbarakarts, via keep-moving-forward-darling)