assvvipe:

velvvetreceipts:

thekatediary:

tiny little turn ons:

   - people leaning against walls with one shoulder while they talk

   - catching somebody turning away smiling at a joke you made

   - people who linger on a hug for just a second after you let go

   - somebody glancing at your lips while you’re talking

jesus CHRIST

Jesus is not a turn-on he is the way the truth and the light go 2 church and reflect on your nasty ass sins

(via dutchster)


/ 6233

sitsinchairs:

crocsy:

Sexting

Straight couples are fucking weird.

(via alfarome-no)

WiFi: connected
Me: then fucking act like it


bingedrunk:

when you’ve been with the same guy for 4 years

image

(Source: partynoxious, via khylieesi)


tastefullyoffensive:

"We bought alien balloons…" [nomad5]

(via walmart-dop-com)

egberts:

intercourse more like yes of course

(via walmart-dop-com)


dilemmemily:

one time we got a new kid in fifth grade and he walks right in and sticks his hand under the stapler and staples his hand and just looks at the teacher and goes “I’m going to the nurse” and leaves

(via g-iggle)


basementdemo:

my mom told me to put the dog to bed but didn’t specify which bed 

(via g-iggle)

gookgod:

cum on her heart

(via g-iggle)


didihearthereadyset:

So I accidentally said, “my crotch has a hole in it.” Instead of “my pants have a hole in them.” And this guy looked me dead in the eyes and whispered

"It’s called a vagina."

(Source: racingbarakarts, via keep-moving-forward-darling)